Statements of the Obvious

by **Anthony** » 15 Mar 2007, 16:29

This morning I bought some pre-packed smoked haddock in the supermarket. On the back of the packet it said: "Allergy Information: Contains Fish"

I suppose there must be some people who think haddock is a vegetable? :?:

by **Kojak** » 15 Mar 2007, 20:02

Some people think milk comes from Tescos, not cows! I know a relative of mine who thinks that fresh veg only comes from Waitrose.....

by **Tove** » 16 Mar 2007, 00:00

In our little country we only know Haddock as the captain :geek:

in the cartoon "Tintin" 8-)

by **MacDuff** » 16 Mar 2007, 02:40

Ah! but Anthony, What's in the fish?

Our Athabasca river runs into a massive lake of that name. The river starts in the pristine Rockies, then passes a large pulp mill in Hinton, then wends it's way through Fort McMurray and the oilsands developments. Government advisory note! Don't eat fish out of the lake more than once every two weeks because of the mercury levels

It's the old food chain story

When the fry of our wild sockeye salmon leave the river mouths and enter the Pacific, they have to swim past 60 miles of ATLANTIC farmed salmon tanks. Those salmon have a form of lice. One louse is 25% of the size of sockeye fry. A study in 2006 showed that only 4% of the fry are avoiding infection by lice -which kill them :twisted:

So Cap'n Haddock may have some problems apart from being threatened by conversion into an Arbroath Smokie 8-)

by **Anthony** » 17 Mar 2007, 00:32

[quote]Originally posted by MacDuff

Ah! but Anthony, What's in the fish?

I don't know about mercury or other pollutants, but regrettably it wasn't proper Finnan haddock but the ersatz sort with its surface dyed a lurid yellow with some nasty dye. But as the EEC hasn't banned it as yet, I doubt if it will kill me. It tasted nice poached in milk, anyway!

by **Anthony** » 17 Mar 2007, 00:39

Today's oddity is not so muach a statement of the obvious as the reverse. I visited a park today which among its amenities had a well-cared-for bowling green (labelled 'bowling green' in case there should be any doubt). But on its gate there was a large notice saying No ball games.

So what do they use for bowling nowadays???? :?:

by **MacDuff** » 17 Mar 2007, 04:17

It was Sir Francis Drake who was playing lawn bowls on Plymouth Hoe when he was notified that the Armada had been sighted. His schoolboy howler response being that : "The Armada can wait but my bowels can't" :P Actually Anthony, a good lawn bowling green has a finer and more delicate surface than the best of greens on golf courses. They are laser levelled. Cost of installing a new one here is about $50,000. :) :) The usual problem is the hooligan element. :o :o :(

by **Richard** » 17 Mar 2007, 12:18

Hooligans? Ah, I see you've met our local bowls club members.

by **Allan** » 17 Mar 2007, 21:11

I've just covered my dinner with "Kitchen Foil". I assume it's called that so you don't confuse it with Garden Foil or Cloakroom Foil or Bathroom Foil or..... :evil:

by **Anthony** » 17 Mar 2007, 23:35

If my memory of what EC law requires serves me right, Alan, I think you'll find a label somewhere on the packet saying 'for food use'. Another daft bit of EC bureaucracy - aluminium foil is after all just aluminium foil and suitable for all sorts of uses (e.g. I wrap it round the bristles of my paint brushes!). :evil:

by **Anthony** » 17 Mar 2007, 23:46

[quote="MacDuff"]

Actually Anthony, a good lawn bowling green has a finer and more delicate surface than the best of greens on golf courses. They are laser levelled. Cost of installing a new one here is about $50,000.

[/quote]
Yes, my grandfather after he retired was an enthusiastic bowls player (though that was in the days before lasers had been invented, let alone laser levelling). What I do remember was that he had a special pair of bowling shoes that he had to put on before he was allowed to step on to the hallowed turf - so the other thing that startled me about 'no ball games' was the implication that the hoi polloi might be permitted to stray on to the green so long as they didn't try to play football on it.

I also rather expected to be ticked off for implying that bowls is played with 'balls'

ops: - the term that my grandfather used was 'woods' (plus of course the 'jack' that was the little white ball that you tried to get your woods as close to as you could).

by **MacDuff** » 19 Mar 2007, 06:57

Yup, flat soled shoes with no insteps :) The "woods" are nowadays made of a compound with an Australian company :o Henselite being very popular :) Although many of the Hooligans playing the game are of advanced years ;) kids from the age of 6 are playing. :) The Aussies :o even have some professional teams :twisted:

by **Ozzie Geoff** » 19 Mar 2007, 07:41

Yes, MacDuff, bowls is very popular here..wonder if its got anything to do with the climate.

I did not know we manufactured the new material balls. Still, nothing surprises me about this fantastic neck of the woods. 8-)

Young people of both (Gawd, I nearly typed "all") sexes are actively involved. The beauty about the game is that you can play it from the cradle to the grave. We even have a national competition for the visually impaired. We used to say "blind" or "white stick brigade" until those pesky PC loonies popped over the trenches. :twisted:

My neighbour's 23 year old grand-daughter plays a competition every Thurs night, proudly using her pop's 50 yo set of balls, still snug in their original case. :geek:

Err, no comments...please. :twisted:

by **MacDuff** » 20 Mar 2007, 04:50

Rumour has it that Henselite have a source of supply from the anatomy of roos,only the tails of which have been exported to the Russkies 8-) Mind you those must be the BIG ROOS :D I can tell you that the ****** Aussies won the mixed fours at the World Masters Games in 2005. :idea: I know, 'cos afterwards the Aussie skip urged me to play in the 2009 games in Sydney :evil: Anyway, the Aussies bought a lot of :geek: afterwards :)

by **Dave** » 23 Mar 2007, 22:07

Laser-levelling - sounds like something that George Jnr and Our Tony have ready for the next step in the Middle East ! :twisted:

by **MacDuff** » 25 Mar 2007, 22:47

But Dave, they don't lawn bowl in the middle east

And by "they" I don't just mean Dubya and your Tony :evil:

by **Dave** » 25 Mar 2007, 22:54

They don't "lawn bowl" but boy, oh boy, can they level the playng field. And then the "grunt" finds out about "hearts and minds" the American way - grab 'em bt the balls, their hearts and minds will follow ! Like .... yeah. Okay ! :evil:

by **Allan** » 26 Mar 2007, 22:34

To (almost) get back to the original thread, I've just fitted a new curtain track which had the following safety instruction:

Do not attempt to fit the track if you are tired, intoxicated or suffer giddiness when off the ground.

I'm usually all of those things!

by **MacDuff** » 27 Mar 2007, 03:23

But Allan, I was always told that it's impossible to have too much Theakstone's :geek:

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