Burns Night

by **Eleanor** » 08 Jan 2009, 22:07

Hi all,its almost our very man Rabbie Burns night coming soon. Haggis has been selling fast and furious in my native Ayrshire Toun. Please let me know of your favourite poems especially from down under.
"Wee cowerin' timerous beastie, oh what a panic's in your breastie"

by **Richard** » 09 Jan 2009, 00:01

Our local butcher is also selling his haggis very quickly but he does have a sign up saying: " All our haggis is guaranteed free range"

by **Dave** » 09 Jan 2009, 00:17

How about one to all the aggressive, argumentative Glaswegians that I've ever had the misfortune to meet :

I wish you kindness both in thought and deed
Now b*gg*r off and boil your heid !
I don't like football, never watched Hibs, son
But a Scottish hero played by Mel Gibson ?????

He's a real Scots Nationalist, like old Connery - Sean,
Who won't return to where he was born.
Perhaps it's on him you should turn your backs
Until he comes home and pays some tax !

So don't go on, keep getting us down
Just please take back both Darling and Brown
And Blair, and Reid and that other bloke
Who cocked up Defence, now that WAS a joke

All in all the son of the Manse
Has messed up with every chance
So please, oh please, can you not take
Them all back and give us a break !!!!!!!
:twisted:

by **Eleanor** » 09 Jan 2009, 19:41

Dave,not all Glaswegians are how you describe them, the sort of people you mention can be found anywhere. Why Glaswegians?

by **Dave** » 09 Jan 2009, 22:06

I agree with you Eleanor - but it's very hard to take the mickey out of nice people !

And I did meet more than my fair share of budding Rab C. Nesbitts during my time in the forces !

So for you - I withdraw .... but for those neanderthals that I had the misfortune of meeting, same again but in Spades. But - and there's always a "but", isn't there? - given that the Scots are so proud, why is it that some of them will do anything for Scotland except live there !

In my defence I have one grandson who's father is Scottish, and a son (and grandson) who reside in Scotland - a dilemma approaching should either of them be good enough to represent their country(s) at football or rugby ! :idea:

by **maziemoo** » 10 Jan 2009, 10:12

Ahh....Rab C Nesbitt....my eldest son and I watched the recent Christmas shows....classic comedy by a brilliant comedian.

From observation of human behaviour during a recent supermarket trip I can confirm that yes, those type of folk are everywhere.

I give you an example of a conversation someone recently relayed to me. Supermarket manager (small local co-op) received a call from member of the public on New Year's Eve asking what time they were closing. 7pm came the reply (later than many of the bigger supermarkets I think). Customer complains that's too early.... manager explains that he has to allow his staff time off to be with their families as it's the festive season. Caller then asks if the shop is open on New Year's Day. Manager replies no. Caller enters into a tirade of abuse asking why this is the case, he thinks it's disgraceful (since when did the supermarket become the 4th emergency service :twisted: ). Manager explains his staff have New Year's Day off to be with their families like most other people in the country. Caller continues to be aggressive and rude....eventually the manager (and I must admit I have to :D :D him with his response) offered to take the name and address of the caller concerned so he could send application forms in order that he and his wife could work the New Year's Day shift next year. Not surprisingly the caller wasn't keen to take him up on his offer.

As if that wasn't bad enough, another member of staff standing at the shop entrance at 7pm stopping shoppers going into the shop (remember closing time was 7pm) was verbally accosted for 5 minutes by someone wanting to buy a bar of chocolate...err like folks hadn't already stuffed themselves to the point of bursting over Christmas :idea: !

So aggressive :twisted: , arguementative :twisted: and dare I say it, thoroughly selfish :twisted: people exist everywhere.

by **Kojak** » 10 Jan 2009, 10:40

Anyone who has watched the elevision programme "Airline" has to agree. How is that when someone arrives late for a flight, forgets their passport or has overweight baggage, it's always the airline's fault? I'm not the greatest fan of Easyjet but I have to take my hat off to the staff who seem to keep their cool in the face of tirades from passengers who caused the problems themselves.

by **Dave** » 10 Jan 2009, 19:16

Ah ! You opened a box of frogs there, Mazie! Gail's been in retail from Ladies' Fashion Junior in a national chain through to department head in Debenham's and on to store manager with various companies since she was sixteen - and she's 16 and a bit now ( she was a child bride ! :D ) - and I was in sales in various guises up to area manager before I went lorry driving ....... we've heard/seen it all from these people! :evil:
My local Sainsbury's open at seven a.m. and do their own in-store baking of fresh bread - dependant, of course, on timely deliveries of the ingredients .... not the problem of the store staff if they get up at Stupid o'clock and the gear isn't on time.
One Saturday, doors open bang on seven - Davie boy, sharp as a tack - was in there like a rat up a drainpipe to get back for the weekend bacon and eggs. At the bakery section at 0705 I came across a customer verbally abusing an assistant and then the department manager with a virulence that made me think he'd been bitten by a rabid dog on the way in, just because his favourite fresh bread wasn't immediately available and wouldn't be for 10 minutes - very aggressive and nasty and personal with it ! :evil: It does make you wonder why they feel that they can fire a volley into some poor store assistant on minimum wages ! :(
I tapped him on the shoulder and the following conversation ensued :
Me. "Have you tried ASDA ? They're open 24 hours"
Him. "They don't sell what I want!"
Me. "Then f. off for a coffee and wait - these people aren't paid to take dog's abuse from a f.wit like you." ( fill in your own f. word - it's not quite as effective, but what the heck).
At the checkout he was doing exactly the same to the cashier, but 25 minutes later .... 15 minutes after the bread was ready ( which he hadn't picked up)!
Tap on the shoulder again ......
Me. "You just don't learn do you ? Now pay your bill and push off". I'm sure you get the idea !
It's the people who have the least reason to be arrogant who demonstrate it and make the most unpleasant noise to people who cannot answer back - and they're the ones who would not dream of putting themselves out for others. I love shopping on a Saturday it makes my day ! :twisted: Especially wen I ain't 'ad me vittels aforehand, sithee !
:idea: :(

by **Eleanor** » 10 Jan 2009, 19:59

Rabbie Burns did a lot of nasty things but I think shopping was the last thing on his mind on a Saturday morning especially after having spent the night with the lovely Jean

by **Kojak** » 10 Jan 2009, 20:09

I had to do a "Toast to the Lassies" for a Burns night which I did in the form of a poem. It's too long to put on here but it sums up the eternal "male trying to understand female thinking" plight...

by **Dave** » 10 Jan 2009, 21:54

Rab C. - nasty ? Nah, just a bloke. But that Jean - a saint .... especially with Jamesie egging Rab on into the netherworld !
And who could forget Gregor Fisher's "Hamlet" ads - even funnier than the "My Noble Lord amlet - over 'ere son, on me head" version !

by **Dave** » 10 Jan 2009, 21:57

[quote="Kojak"]

I had to do a "Toast to the Lassies" for a Burns night which I did in the form of a poem. It's too long to put on here but it sums up the eternal "male trying to understand female thinking" plight...
[/quote]

If you've still got it in writing, please feel free to scan it and e-mail me a copy !!!!!!

I can adapt it - no copyright fees - and use it ! :twisted:

by **Eleanor** » 10 Jan 2009, 23:19

Hey Dave, do you like Billy Connolly ? I think he is a hoot but I can understand his Glasgow accent

by **Dave** » 11 Jan 2009, 19:53

Loved Billy connoly in his early days - discovered him whilst being attached to 45 Commando in Arbroath back when Nelson was a boy!

He's so "up himself" now that he's no longer funny - just crude - and can't make up his mind whether he's a comedian or a Michael Palin wannabe !
:idea:

by **maziemoo** » 11 Jan 2009, 23:07

Davey boy, I have to

you on your response in the supermarket mate. I'm a peace loving kind of person but seeing someone else being bullied, especially unreasonably is an absolute guarantee to bring out the :twisted:

in me.

The trouble with this country...by that I mean UK by the way...is that we've had it too good for too long...if we had to scrat around for a few grains of rice you could understand the urgency but throwing ones toys out of the cot because bread isn't ready by 7am shows a distinct lack of self control and a sense of over self-indulgence.

Watching the behaviour of people on the news clips of folks making for the after Christmas sales made me feel ashamed....how can anyone need anything so desperately as to charge like a herd of out of control cattle into a department store?

Perhaps the recession will help some of those greedy folk get a proper grip on reality.

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